Certain Failure

From author Set Godin

Certain failure

Last night, a comedian tried out some new material, and someone in the front row didn't laugh.

Last week, I put up a post with a new idea in it, and thousands of people who read it didn't retweet or share it.

Last year, someone ran for office and didn't get every single vote cast.

Failure! Certain failure.

Of course your next project isn't going to delight everyone. That's impossible. It's certain that for some people, your project is going to be a failure.

At the same time, it's also quite unlikely that your project will please no one.

So now, we can agree that it's all on a spectrum, and that success and failure are merely localized generalizations.

Once you realize that failure is certain, it's a lot easier to focus on impact instead.

Friends of St. John by the Gas Station

Today, I attended the workshop presented by "Sacred Spaces".  This is a new initiative we in New England are starting in partnership with Partners for Sacred Spaces. The workshop was an initial description of how a nine month planning process for congregations to plan to connect their major asset (the building) with needs in the community, along with how to fund it.  Good stuff.  We;ve got 8 congregations signed up.  If you are interested, let me know ASAP.  You can learn more at this link to learn more about New Dollars/New partners.

But, I want to share with you one small idea.  Start a "Friends of ________".  This could be a group of people who are not members, but value what you do.  An example would be a Friends of you Preschool.  Potential members are all the families who send their kids, or used to send their kids.  You can start a newsletter to them, eventually ask them for support.  If you are a New England Synod congregation, contact me and I can describe how this could work.  

In the meantime, check out the links above.

Complaints about the Minister

As a bishop, one of the concerns I hear about from people in congregations falls into the category of complaints about their pastor.  Oh, I hear complaints about me as well, my decisions, my dress code, my height, my theology, my progressiveness, my conservatism.  But, this colum is about complaints about the minister.  

Whenever, I hear about someone complaining about their pastor, I tend to listen to the way they phrase the complaints, as opposed to the content.  For instance, if I get an email, phone call or letter and the language is all about how horrible the pastor is, with no reference to other factors, I wonder if the author has really taken the time to be a thoughtful and helpful participant in resolving differences.  In other words, if it'sall you language, I tend to be suspicious.  On the other hand, if the complaint is rooted in some "I" language, I tend to pay attention.  As an example, "You know, it's been a stressful time for our community, and I believe our pastor really cares about us, it's just that I notice s/he tends to...."   That's a very different form of communication, than "you know Bishop, this pastor has never done anything right in his/her ministry...ever."  My response is typically along the lines of "really, never done anything right?  Ever?"

All this reminds me of a chart from Ed Friedman's classic book on congregational life Generation to Generation.  The chart is below, and I've left it large so you can print it out.  Ed's main point is that all of the complaints that have ever been lodged against the clergy can be found on this chart.  Maybe if someone works hard enough, they could try to find something that is not on the chart.  Rarely is the complaint have anything to do with the content. 99.9999999 times out of 100, it's about unresolved conflicts in either a) the family of the complainer  b) the family of the congregation as a whole.

How many times have I been attacked for something I never said in a sermon?  Let me count the ways.

Now having said that, it's equally important for the parish pastor to recognize that a third and important factor plays into this as well, and that is c) our own unresolved matters from our family of origin.  That's a topic for another post.  

For now, spend some time studying this chart, and then listen to the complaints people say.  I bet it fits on the chart.

Does your church need an Interim Pastor?

Signs Your Church may benefit from an Interim Pastor

Originally by Lavern Brown, (online at pastors.com)  edited for ELCA congregations by Bishop James Hazelwood 

One of the questions I am often asked following the announcement of the departure or retirement by their pastor is as follows:

“Should we rush into finding a new pastor right away or should we have someone come and help us figure out what’s best for us?” 

My answer is “it depends.”  I do believe there are certain situations when I would encourage a congregation to consider a trained intentional interim, especially if the church meets any of these criteria: 

The pastor is leaving after a lengthy tenure (experts differ over “lengthy tenure”, with figures from 8 to 25 years).

The church churns its pastors (a new one is called every few years).

The pastor leaves under duress (forced out) or due to inappropriate behavior or misconduct.

The church’s leaders can’t identify or agree on the church’s mission.

It has been three years since the last ministry evaluation (everything is reviewed for “mission fit” and amended as needed).

It is a “commuter church” (members are very different from those who live near the church).

Attendance has plateaued or declining (people coming in offset those who leave).

The church faces significant financial challenges. 

Any church entering the transition between permanent pastors should pay careful and prayerful attention to these signs. If not there is a danger the leadership might simply set the congregation of a repeating pattern.  While there are no guarantees in life, except death and taxes, a trained and qualified interim pastor can be a very helpful option for congregations in transition. 

How do we do Evangelism?

Thom Rainer has some ideas in his latest email update.  He writes:

We hear from churches all over the country about how God is working in their churches and how they are seeing people come to new life in Christ. So on today’s episode, we discuss nine relational evangelism ideas that are working in churches.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

  • The easiest way to connect with a non-Christian is over a meal.
  • I do not understand why we do not pray for evangelistic opportunities more.
  • We have to be intentional about developing relationships with non-Christians.
  • Non-Christians are more open to coming to a Christmas Eve service than any other time of the year.
  • If you’re not doing a Christmas Eve service, you’re missing a great opportunity.
  • Align your church programs to intentionally create evangelistic opportunities.

The nine relational evangelism ideas that work are:

  1. Partner with a Christian student group on a local college campus and host a late night coffee/study session during finals week
  2. Encourage members to have a meal a week with an unchurched family
  3. Frequent the same coffeeshop/restaurant and develop relationships
  4. Go to the same non-Christian barber/stylist
  5. Pray for opportunities each day to develop relationship with non-Christians
  6. Join an organization to connect with non-Christians
  7. Develop meaningful relationships with your non-Christian co-workers
  8. Gift Christmas gifts (like baked goods) to your neighbors
  9. Teach in an ESL class

My First Century on a Bike

Yesterday, I completed my first century.  That is riding 100 miles in one day.  It's is the bicycling equivalent of running a marathon.  It was exhausting, rewarding and this morning as I sit at my computer with minimal pain, I can honestly say, I'd do it again.

The event was sponsored by the Narragnsett Wheelmen (and women) Club.  THey've been doing this for 44 years, and judging from the level of experience on the ride, it's clear there are people who are in amazing physical shape - some of them well into their 70's and 80's.  This means there is hope for all of us as we age.  We don't need to give in to the myth of age = slow decline.

I will admit that in the days leading up to this event, I became quite nervous.  I suppose that's only natrual - a reminder that when we take on new things, we get uncomfortable.  Change makes us nervous.  But, I prepared my bike and loaded the car the night before.

The real preparation began last December 16, when a stranger told me about two books that have become my bibles (in addition to the Bible).  They are Younger next Year and Thinner This Year by Chris Crowley.  His newest book on Exercise will be released this December, just in time for Christmas gifts.  I spent the winter working out and eating right.  It's not complicated, but it does require discipline.  Then in April I bought a bicycle cause I knew I'd get bored of the treadmill at the gym, and I can't run anymore due to my knees.  (Stemming from some old basketball injuries and, well, just the nature of being a tall person)  The bike I got from Lennard Zinn, who makes bikes for big people.  I did this cause the local bike shops looked at me and said, "ah, well, we could special order something."

The ride was a challenge.  The first 31 miles went pretty smooth for me, and I was feeling good and humming a long.  The next leg took me to mile 48.  I was still doing fine.  These markers are the locations of the rest stops, where they have facilities, water, sports drinks, and carbohydrates.  It's a refueling station.  The next leg really broke me.  Around mile 60 I just ran out of gas, and fatgue became the name of the game.  I found myself creeping along and counting the miles to the next stop, which was at mile 72.  Here I collapsed.  Exhausted.  I ate, drank and took a short nap.  Yes, I dosed off for a few minutes.  I needed that.

Mile 31 - Feeling pretty good


Mile 72 - I may be smiling for this posed photo, but I was exhausted.

The last 29.5 miles were a range of painful peddling to comfortable crusing and humming along.  You know the end is near, and despite the temptation of the various ice cream shops with cyclists stopped at, you just keep going.  I paused around mile 81 after a big hill.  (Heck, any hill at this point in the ride feels big)  I could see the clouds rolling in from the west, and that made me aware of the predicted rain, so I pushed on, finally finishing the event.

Kerry and her brother Bill, along with Lisa (photographer) were their to greet me.  I'm sured they'd been waiting for some time.  Bill competes in Ironman Triatholons.  The ride was done, I get a funny T-shirt and a regrigerator magnet.  (Bet you are jealous)

Mostly what I have is a marker in my quest to be in better physical shape, taking care of this gift of life, and living longer and stronger.  That's the best reward.

Ask Thank Tell Resource Page

I've created an Ask Thank Tell Resource page on Facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/askthanktell

Go there, click like, and you will regularly see idea, challenges.  

And, here is an audio recording of my Crazy Stewardship Presentation at Zion, Pittsfield, MA

http://bishop.nesynod.org/crazystewardshiptalk.mp3

A public thank you to Charles Lane who wrote the best book on Congregational Stewardship EVER!  

My Summer Reading List

I've been working through a couple of different reads.  Here's my list as summer winds down.

Liz has done a bunch of research to suggest that experience may not be all its cracked up to be.  Remember the enrgy you had when you didn't know what you were doing.

Liz suggests that those of us who are a bit older and experienced might benefit from reclaiming our rookie days.  Good stuff.

Liz spoke at the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit, and you can see the notes of her talk here.

 

I borrowed this book from my friend Glen Ramsay.  It's sitting there gazing at me from the nightstand, saying, "open me and read."  I've got to get to this one.

Amazon says: A revelatory look at how Roger Williams shaped the nature of religion,political power and individual rights in America. Acclaimed historian John M. Barry explores the development of the fundamental ideas through the story of the man who was the first to link religious freedom to individual liberty, and who created in America the first Government and society on earth informed by those beliefs. The story is essential to the continuing debate over how we define the role of religion and political power in modern American life.

 

I've read a number of different Buddhist-Christian dialgue books over the years.  Honestly, Buddhism is really hard for westerner's to get our head around. Most of the books in this field are highly intelectual and written for the graduate level college course.  

In some ways, this one is no different except, that Paul Knitter frequently breaks away from the rhetoric and talks openly and honestly about how a particular way of thinking interacts with his Christian faith.  I'm finding his honesty very insightful.

I like this book, and it's helping me embrace some challenging Christian doctrines.

You'll be challenged in this read, so don't read it if you are settled in your Christian faith and don't want to be challenged.

 

As I wroter last week on my facebook page: On my summer reading list, among a stack of books is now this one (on my kindle) If a book is too much for you then take in the article in the Atlantic (http://www.theatlantic.com/…/the-case-for-reparatio…/361631/ ) from last June. The book and article are a helpful perspective on America's long sorted history with race relations. This is a challenging read. Not in it's difficulty but in the way it will challenge your perspective. But, I believe it's an important subject for all of us to wrestle.

I know that St. Matthew Lutheran in Avon, CT have selected this book as the study focus for this fall.  Good for them.  Maybe yu'll consider diving in as well.

 

OK  Last one, which I just finished.

Bruce Weber is a fine writer.  This is the record of his 2011 bicycle ride across america.  While it's about his journey, it's also about life and death, and romance, love lost, and the way people touch our lives.

Bruce is currently the obituarist for the New York Times, so he has this wonderful way of telling a story from the perspective of, well, it just might be the last.

It's a light read, and cyclist or non will enjoy it equally.

The World Hunger Ride

Steve Dumas, Rick Hoyme and I just completed a 2,000 mile plus journey across portions of America and Canada on our motorcycles.  All for the Walk for Water campaign of the ELCA World Hunger Appeal that was an emphasis of the ELCA Youth gathering in Detroit.   Our journey took us from Rhode Island to Detroit on the US side, and we returned through Canada, and came hone through the Adirondack Mountains, Vermont and New Hampshire.

In Cleveland, OH, my son and his wife perfectly timed our visit by arranging to give birth to their baby, Asa Glen Hazelwood.  This would now make Lisa and I grandparents.

We saw great sunsets
And returned back to New England, having raised $17,516 for World Hunger.

Bias

I'm reading a fascinating book titled: Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People by  Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald.  These are some wicked smart Harvard University researchers in the field of psychology and social relations.  My wife, Lisa, suggested the book while we were in the midst of dinner time conversations about race relations in America following the recent massacre in Charleston, SC.  She had heard this NPR report.  I was intrigued, and the book arrived last week.

It's a different approach to the work of racial reconciliation, but an important one in my view.  Here is a paragraph from the opening chapter.

"Evidence from the second half of the twentieth century has made it increasingly plausible that human irrationality is severly limited.  Our task, in this book, is to follow this idea of the bounds on rationality into a particular place - where the questions concern how we judge ourselves, other individuals and the social collectives to which they and we belong."

While the first sentence shouldn't surprise anyone who has followed public discourse in recent years, it's the second sentence that tells you where the book is going.  

I'm in the middle of the book, so I can't give a full review.  So far, it's a bit heavy on vignettes of various psychological studies showing how human beings have blindspots or biases.  The evidence is pretty strong.  The frustrating piece is that we don't know we have some of these blindspots - we can't see them.  The connection to race relations is toward the end of the book, accoridng to the table of contents, so you have to be patient before the connection is made in that area.

It's a useful resource for me, as I try to figure out ways of engaging a broader audience around the subject of racial reconciliation. Most people who read this blog, think of themselves as good people.  But, the truth of the matter is that we all bring assumptions and bias to our decisions.  In my view, the more we can learn about how our self deception contributes to racial misunderstanding, the better off our nation will be.

 

 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Christianity stands or falls with its revolutionary protest against violence arbitrariness, and pride of power, and with its plea for the weak.  Christians are doing too little to make these points clear rather than too much.  Christendom adjusts itself far too easily to the worship of power.  Christians should give more offense, shock the world far more, than they are doing now."

 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

ELCJHL Bishop Younan coming to Connecticut

ELCJHL Bishop Younan coming to Connecticut

July 24, 7 p.m.

St. John's Lutheran Church

844 Newfield Ave.

Stamford, Conn.


Bishop Munib Younan
 of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Jordan and the Holy Land is coming to speak in New England, and you are invited!
At 7 p.m. on Friday, July 24, Bishop Younan will speak at a public forum to be held at St. John's Lutheran Church (844 Newfield Ave., Stamford, Conn.). To attend, please call the church at (203) 322-0066 to RSVP.  
 

Earlier that day, Bishop Younan will gather with clergy from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Emanuel Lutheran Church (60 Church Street, Manchester, Conn.). Clergy who would like to attend should contact Rev. Duane Peterson.

The Rt. Rev. Dr. Munib A. Younan was consecrated as bishop - the third Palestinian to hold the office - on January 5, 1998, at the Evangelical Lutheran Church of the Redeemer in Jerusalem in the presence of religious and political leaders from many nations. He was educated in Palestine and Finland and has been active in numerous faith organizations since his ordination in 1976, such as the Middle East Council of Churches (MECC), The Lutheran World Federation (LWF) and the Fellowship of the Middle East Evangelical Churches (FMEEC). The bishop was the first to translate the Augsburg Confession into Arabic. He is an active member of various ecumenical and interfaith dialogue initiatives in Jerusalem that he helped found. 

In July 2010, he was elected president of the Lutheran World Federation (LWF), a global communion of Christian churches with 145 member churches in 79 countries representing more than 70 million Christians. He is a recent past president of FMEEC and provides leadership for the ecumenical Patriarchs and Heads of Local Christian Churches in Jerusalem group as well as for the Council of Religious Institutions in the Holy Land (CRIHL), comprised of leaders of Jerusalem's Jewish, Muslim and Christian communities.

Seven Key Reasons Your Church Attendance May Be Declining

Seven Key Reasons Your Church Attendance May Be Declining

My five-year old grandson asked me how old I was. When I told him I would turn 60 in a few weeks, he responded: “I didn’t realize people got that old.”

Indeed, in 60 years, like any of us who have lived a few years, I have seen change, lots of change. And I am seeing change in local congregations faster than any time in my lifetime. One of the most disheartening changes I am seeing is the declining attendance in a majority of churches. I am asked repeatedly to diagnose and help with these challenges.

Though addressing the issue of declining attendance cannot be covered in a brief blog post, I hope it will be helpful to share some high-level perspectives. See if any of these seven reasons apply to your church.

  1. “Cultural Christians” no longer see the need to attend church. “Cultural Christian” is really an oxymoron. I refer here to those men and women who once attended church for social, political, or business reasons. Most of them no longer feel it is necessary to be in church to be a regarded citizen in the community.
  2. Church members are attending less frequently. I have noted in other articles how I see this development as potentially the greatest contributor to attendance decline. Three decades ago, a very active church member attended three times a week. Today we call those who attend three times a month an active church member.
  3. Expectations are lower for church members. One of the reasons church members attend less frequently is that very little is expected of them in many churches. If we expect little of our members, that is exactly what we will get.
  4. Insufficient emphasis on groups. This reality may be one of the most neglected areas of church life. Groups of all kinds – home groups, small groups, Sunday school classes, life groups, and others – are key to assimilation and greater commitment. The importance of groups must begin with the pastor and all other key leaders in the church.
  5. Inward focus. In too many churches, the emphasis is on “me, myself, and I.” Some members are more concerned about the temperature in the worship center than the eternal destinations of their neighbors. The “me-focused” church is on its way to decline.
  6. No clearly defined process of discipleship. Eric Geiger and I reported on this issue in our book, Simple Church. Growing churches are much more likely to have a clearly grasped and implemented process of discipleship than declining churches.
  7. No strategic plans for multi-venues or multi-campuses. As I noted in my article Monday, the trend of multi-venue and multi-campus churches may be the most significant in church practices in the past three decades. Even smaller churches are now planning for more than one site or venue. Those churches not making such plans are more likely to be declining.

Decline in church attendance cannot be defined in seven simple statements. But these reasons are at least broad explanations of what is taking place in many of our congregations. I would love to get feedback from you on these issues.

The post Seven Key Reasons Your Church Attendance May Be Declining appeared first on ThomRainer.com.